The quest for Sir Phillipe’s gold – a short medieval yarn

Scene: In a dark and damp castle, a nervous courtier approaches the king…

“Forgive me, your majestie, but I bring grave newwes.”

“More bad tydingges? Cah! What occurreth now?”

“Ye estates of Sir Phillipe le Vert are laid waste, Sire. What once were lush and fertylle producers of plenty are now crumbled into duste.”

“This is indeed a tragedyie. How has it come to pass?

“Thy servants are tryingge to get to ye bottome of this thyngge, Sire, but Sir Phillipe has proved somewhat evasive?”


“Verily, Sire, he accuseth your majestie’s inquisitors of lookingge at hym in a funniyye way and he blameth ye catastrophe and desolation on Dominique la Chapelle.”

“Dominique la Chapelle? Who in all my kingdomme is he?”

“Unknown to us, Sire, but we are told he is somethingge of a rogue and a knave. It is he that ran ye estates in ye last year before ye destitution.”

“A year is but a short tyme for an estate to go to ye ratte shitte.”

“Indeed so, Sire. Sir Phillipe must be called to accountte for his part in this thynnge. And I fear, Sire, that worse is to come. There is nothingge left to provide for Sir Phillipe’s villeins and their families. Their alms must now be met by your majestie’s exchequer.”

“Forsooth! And how does thou recknoneth the cost of this?”

“A not inconsiderable number Sire. To make good ye shortfall in ye alms will require an amount close to one year’s taxes and tithes.”

“Zounds! Then we must make Sir Phillipe payy it!”

“Thy ministers have been making this very point, Sire. Alas, to date Sir Phillipe has offered to payy but a token amountte.”

“A token amountte? The cur!”

“And Sir Phillipe has threatened your majestie’s chief inquisitor, Francis de Champ, with grave and terrible retribution if he persisteth with his charges of pillage and plunder against Sir Phillipe.”

“My patience weareth thynne. Seize Sir Phillipe’s gold!”

“Therein lyeth ye problemme, Sire. Sir Phillipe hath taken his gold to a principalitie beyond ye lands of ye Languedoc. There he storeth it in his Ladyyie’s chamber, far beyond ye reach of even your majestie’s most intrepid knights.”

“When I knighted Sir Phillipe he swore an oath allegiance. By putting his gold in a secrette playce beyond reach of his king, he has behaved with dishonour.”

“Indeed, Sire, but he currently lodgeth under ye protection of foreign princes…”

“He hath broken ye vowes of chivalrie. I shall strip ye dishonourable knave of his knighthood!”

“As your majestie wishes but I’m not sure he will givve ye monkeyys.”

“To ye Tower with him!”

“As you command, Sire. (If we can catch ye buggre, that is.)”


Disclaimer: This dodgy medieval yarn is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

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1 Response to The quest for Sir Phillipe’s gold – a short medieval yarn

  1. It is possible that the large dividend extracted from the company in favour of Lady Green was unlawfully paid due to accounting irregularities. An unlawful dividend diminishes a company’s capital. Capital is the buffer which protects a company’s creditors in the event of that company’s insolvency. Anyway, we will have to wait and see.

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