‘Pump It Up’ – as sung by the George Osborne Band

I’ve been on tenterhooks,
People give me dirty looks,
Every week I’m getting flack,
Blamed for doing this ‘n’ that.
Now things are looking good,
Like I always said they would,
Everything will be just fine,
Help to Buy came just in time.

Pump it up, watch the house prices feed it,
Pump it up, because we really need it.

Property price hike,
Keep shopping all you like,
Tills are ringing at the store,
People feeling flush once more.
Credit fuelled spending spree,
Makes the numbers work for me,
2015’s coming soon,
Must keep up the spending boom.

Pump it up, they’re beginning to feel it,
Pump it up, and this time we can steal it.

Asset bubble, buy-to-let,
Never mind about the debt,
Everybody’s doin’ it,
Don’t let Carney ruin it.
Growth is going like a train,
People spending cash again,
Just keep things looking fine,
Up until election time.

Pump it up, let the asset price lead it,
Pump it up, 2015 will seal it.

When we’re back in power once more,
Another 5-year term secure,
I’ll be sharpening the axe,
Cutting spending, raising tax.
But for now the house price rise,
Keeps the voters on a high,
Let them feel prosperity
Don’t mention austerity.

Pump it up,  because we really need it,
Pump it up, let’s just hope they believe it!