Worried you won’t make it through the next financial year?
Then you need these great money-saving ideas fromPickles & Shapps!
Here are just some of our great cash-saving tips:
Fed up with your senior executives waving their big pay packets around? Then halve their salaries and save a massive 0.35%!
Can’t understand what all those middle managers are up to? Cut their pay by a quarter and save a colossal 2.4%!
Too many lazy and inefficient staff? Bring in private sector efficiency methods and save a whopping 2%! *
Back-office bureaucrats blowing your budget? Shift them all into shared service centres and save a sensational 1.8%! **
Too many HR, IT and Finance people? Sack them all and save…oh…loads!
For more huge savings like these call Pickles & Shapps today!
Don’t wait for riots outside your offices! Don’t wait for Financial Armageddon! You haven’t a moment to lose! You need help from Pickles & Shapps!
Don’t delay! Call Pickles & Shapps on 0800 GARBAGE
* Subject to your ability to do so without hiring any private sector management expertise.
** Dependent on having managers with previous shared services experience in your authority.
Disclaimer: Pickles & Shapps disclaim all liability for lawsuits, industrial action, angry letters to the Guardian and general service collapse which may result from the implementation by councils of any of the measures suggested.
Risk Warning: The value of your formula grant can fluctuate wildly depending on the extent to which you piss us off.