Double standards

This was the Cityunslicker’s Friday Joke last week, so I’ve nicked it for this week.

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that’s brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that’s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

You could go on….

When I don’t answer emails it’s because I’m disorganised.
When my boss doesn’t answer emails it’s because he’s ruthlessly prioritising.

When I lose my temper it’s because I have poor emotional control.
When my boss loses his temper it’s a planned use of emotion to convey a point forcefully.

When the pay rises are crap it’s my turn to tell people.
When the pay rises are good it’s my boss’s turn to tell people.

I’m sure you must have some more of these too.

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