My post about Gordon Brown’s proposed core values statement inspired Jesse Walker of Reason Online to re-write John of Gaunt’s speech from Richard II in corporate speak:
This Proactive Plot, This Synergistic Earth, This High-Impact Realm, This England.
You may laugh but Matthew Parris has been talking to Michael Willis, the Minister of State for Constitutional Renewal (what?), who told him that the statement of British values will be drawn up by a Citizen’s Summit of a thousand people.
Just as I thought. A gigantic visioning workshop, just like the ones that work so well in the corporate sector. I bet they’ll have flip charts, facilitators and nice biscuits too.
The methodology for developing this dreadful thing has probably been designed by a firm of political researchers, who will have nicked it from a firm of management consultants. The facilitators will probably be on a hefty day-rate too. The whole thing will turn out to be very expensive.
The resulting values statement will almost immediately be criticised by the rest of the sixty million people who will not be involved in drawing it up. Either that, or it will be so bland that no-one could possibly object to it, which will make it completely useless for giving us a national direction, promoting social cohesion, holding the Union together or any of the other things that it is supposed to be for.
How do I know this will happen? Because, Gordon, you dolt, that’s what happens when companies do this sort of thing. Ask any of your pals in business and, off the record, they will tell you that corporate values statements are a complete waste of time.
Britain: Bit Pointless, But The Biscuits Are Great And It Beats Working
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